Temple of Orgasm Etiquette
We want to give you some idea—other than orgasms!—of what to expect in the Temple of Orgasm. There are just a few guidelines that capture the overall ambience we desire:
Please thoroughly familiarize yourself with these guidelines before attending Temple events. Following them and elaborating and improvising based on them will make the Temple a hit with everyone! .
[Please refer to Temple Variations for a description of the variety of Temple forms.]
The Temple of Orgasm is a sacred space… because we make it so! Please approach the Temple with the reverence you would a church, synagogue, temple, or ashram anywhere in the world. Mostly this means leaving aside our personality quirks. Your actions are especially impactful in our relatively small group. At the same time the Temple of Orgasm is all about orgasming and ecstatic energy. Being reverent does not mean being dull or quiet! Please give heartfelt moans and full-throated shouts of joy during your orgasmic revels.
The Temple of Orgasm supports free-form spirituality. We are non-denominational—Quodoshka, Taoist, Tantra, Extended Sexuality and more are all welcome, and none is mandatory. Conversely, please be respectful that others may not share your particular beliefs or practices, and sensitive to maintaining spirituality in a form acceptable to all.
Centering In Our Hearts
Heart-centeredness and orgasms re-enforce each other, building a positive feedback loop which amplifies both. So we ask everyone in the Temple to be centered mostly in your hearts rather than in your heads. Orgasms and love work together much more harmoniously than orgasms and analytics! Take some time before entering the Temple to prepare yourself—quiet your mind, stretch your body and center in your heart.
Creating A Feeling Of Energetic Connectedness
We want a feeling of general inclusiveness without any pressure to be with any particular people. Beyond just your orgasmates, please be present with and conscious of all the celebrants in the Temple of Orgasm. Please take some time to connect energetically across the room with others in the Temple space. From our interconnectedness, we will amplify the energy in the Temple and radiate it out into the world.
Being Ready, Willing And Able To Orgasm With Our Orgasmates
The Temple of Orgasm is—duh!—about orgasming and other immediately related activities. When you do come to the Temple, please be prepared to come in the Temple! This will maintain the high level of delicate energy needed for all to “feel the juice.” As the Temple has no ritual or dogma, we require self-starters, folks who already know how to attain their highest ecstatic states.
If you are not up for orgasming at the moment, no problem. At ErotiCamp, there are many other places on the land and an unused building. Take a nap, get a snack, walk to the creek, practice meditation or martial arts, write in your journal, run through the sprinklers! When you feel ready, willing and able again, please come back to the Temple. At the Quasi-Temple during evening events, it’s a little tougher. There is less separate chill space. As these events are just a few hours, we accept that inconvenience. When you are done orgasming for the evening, simply leave quietly, so as to not disturb other celebrants.
Focusing On Giving In The Temple Space
The Temple is dedicated to serving its celebrants. We also ask for the celebrants to have an attitude of gratefulness and giving towards the Temple and other participants. At ErotiCamp—our weekend Temple gatherings—one way to give is to help in the kitchen with food preparation and cleaning. We love it if orgasmates would work as kitchen-help teams, taking frequent breaks to juice each other—and thus the whole communal feast—up! During evening events with potluck dinners, please clean up after yourselves and help in the kitchen and with the transition to Temple space.
The energy of orgasm is delicate and fragile, like a spider web or a flower. The Temple is consecrated to holding this intangible but palpable ecstatic energy. We want to flow with it in the present. In the Temple, we remove everything which can interfere with the fragile resonance. To name some distractions to remove, avoid and turn away from: talking, sleeping, snoring, eating, drama, massaging, processing, arguing, thinking, phoning, messaging, networking, texting, reading, writing, etc. All of these things take us out of the present, out of the flow. Even more, they take other celebrants out as well. At ErotiCamp, there are multiple buildings and many acres of land in which to do those activities. In the Quasi-Temple section of evening events, there is only limited space, which is not separate enough for non-Temple activities to be sound proof.
One of the reasons the Temple works is because we maintain a conscious separation from normal, everyday activities and makes a sanctuary for nurturing the rare ecstatic energies. The larger the separation we can maintain, the higher the energy in the Temple goes. One practice is to use “Temple voice” which is really just whispering and keeping even that to a bare minimum.
Another major distraction is people interacting erotically for the first time. Outside of the Temple–Lite (see below), the basic assumption is that folks will mostly stay with their existing orgasmates, and move beyond that cautiously, if at all. The reason we ask folks to come as orgasmates—pre-existing orgasmic configurations—is so they are orgasm-ready when they arrive, and can be content in that configuration the entire time. Thus, they are always coming from wholeness, satisfaction and abundance, which benefits all. If it happens that you are attracted to someone new, approach them outside of the Temple. Be alert for whether they have any reciprocal energy for you, and happy with whatever the result is.
Safety and Security
Of course, the Temple of Orgasm needs safety and security to function in this rarified atmosphere. Confidentiality is expected—please only share your personal experiences from the Temple. Implicate no one else unless they give you explicit permission. Please create and maintain a safe space by owning your own emotions and process, and removing yourself from the Temple when you have something which interferes. Honor each other’s boundaries, and negotiate (outside of the Temple!) for what you want, and err on the side of non-interaction if unclear.
Safer sex is not really an issue in the Complete Temple, which you enter with an orgasmate, with whom you have already negotiated the issue. If you are in the Temple–Lite engaging sexually with a new partner, please have "the safe sex" conversation! Basic safer sex supplies are available.
Temple of Orgasm–Lite: Exceptions To The Rules
The above considerations apply to the Permanent Temple when it is created, the Complete Temple at ErotiCamp and the Quasi–Temple at evening events. These three variations are similar enough that behavior in them can be talked in common, as we did above. The Temple–Lite concurrent events, which are for both singles and couples, depart from some of these expectations. We still want to center in our hearts, create a feeling of energetic connectedness, focus on giving in the Temple space, and provide safety and security, as with the other Temple variations.
However, we relax a few practices. The primary difference is giving up the requirement of orgasmic sex—which is why this is called Temple–Lite! For events with singles and mixing, it is too much to demand that folks be ready, willing and able to be sexual. After all, many of them are just meeting for the first time and we don’t want to pressure anyone. At the same time, we offer the Temple–Lite as a make-out zone and test bed(!) for newly-met couples, to experiment without fear of interfering with others in the full-on Temple.
Within the Temple–Lite, we expect there also will be many of the distractions that the full-on Temples avoid, such as flirting with someone you’ve just met, as well as talking and massaging. These normally proscribed behaviors are actually promoted in the Temple–Lite, as the purpose is for folks to hook up so they can participate in the erotic Temples. Kissing is allowed and encouraged, as are energetic orgasms. Clothing is allowed, sexy clothing is encouraged, and partial or complete nudity is welcome. While one need not be completely willing to be erotic yet or completely ready to be ertoic yet to be in Temple–Lite, one should be want to become willing and ready!
What To Bring
Bring street dress/casual attire for outside of Temple. Bring sexy, flirtatious clothing to change into for Temple. Bring a bottle with water. If you want to be naked, please bring a towel, sarong or sheet to sit or lie on. For potlucks, bring a light, healthy dish and please make a label indicating whether it is vegetarian/vegan or not, along with the ingredients. For weekend events, we send out a welcome letter with suggestions of what to bring. Alcohol is discouraged and limited to just wine, please—no beer or hard liquor.
Dealing With Distractions
The Temple minimizes rules and regulations because we dislike enforcement duties. That said, Temple attendants will work to remove distractions if they arise. We will not tolerate drunkeness, aggressiveness, disorderliness, hostility or violence in the Temple. These are grounds for immediate expulsion. Please just don’t go there. Other distractions will be dealt with first by a request to stop. To preserve Temple energy, any intervention will be quick and decisive. If ambiguous, Temple personnel are the judge and have final say. Of course, we are willing to talk at a later time, and outside of the Temple.
We create a spiritual domain in the Temple of Orgasm by our mutual actions, so participate at your most reverent level. We center in our hearts to bring forth love energy in the Temple. We create a feeling of energetic interconnectedness by being conscious of other celebrants in addition to ourselves and our orgasmates. By being ready, willing and able to orgasm with our orgasmates (existing partners), we jump-start the energy in Temple of Orgasm. We focus on giving in the Temple space, helping enter the space of love and ensuring that there is an abundance of caring and intermingled energies. We remove distractions to focus on the main event—orgasming! And we create a safe and secure environment in which to experience all of this.